Narcissism is often thought of as a personality disorder that does not manifest itself until adulthood, but its origins often lie in the earliest stages of our lives. Research indicates that babies with temperaments that make them demanding and difficult to appease are more prone to developing narcissistic traits. This process is influenced in part by the interactions these children have with their parents and the environmental factors they face. The question is how these early experiences, combined with biological predispositions, lay the foundation for a narcissistic personality structure.
The Importance of Parental Attachment
A fundamental aspect in children's development is the attachment they form with their parents. The attachment model, as developed by John Bowlby, states that secure attachment is crucial to a child's emotional development (Bowlby, 1988). In infants who are demanding and require a lot of attention, this attachment plays an even more important role. When parents are not consistently available - for example, due to a chaotic home environment or their own traumas - this can lead to insecure attachment. These children develop a sense of insecurity and anxiety, which increases their chances of later exhibiting narcissistic traits (Schore, 2001).
Insecure attachment often occurs in situations where parents are emotionally detached or unable to respond appropriately to their child's needs. According to research by Main and Solomon (1990), this can lead to “disorganized attachment,” in which the child is constantly seeking affirmation but never receives it adequately. In their quest for attention and appreciation, this can later result in narcissistic behaviors in which they try to dominate their environment to obtain that attention.
Temperament is largely biologically determined and can influence the way a child responds to the world around them.
Parental Overvaluation and Narcissism
On the other hand, parents can also nurture a narcissistic personality in their child by constantly telling them how special they are and giving them privileges that other children do not get. Albert Bandura's “Social Learning Theory” emphasizes that children learn behavior through observation and imitation (Bandura, 1977). When parents constantly allow their child to believe that they are better than others, the child internalizes this and a sense of grandiosity is formed.
Recent research by Brummelman et al. (2015) supports this idea. They found that children whose parents constantly overvalue them are more likely to develop narcissistic traits. This happens especially in situations where children are taught that they have special rights, such as being given priority or not having to follow rules that apply to others. This reinforces the idea of superiority and entitlement, core aspects of narcissism.
Temperament and Narcissism: The Biological Basis
While parental influence and environment are crucial, temperament is another important factor. Temperament is largely biologically determined and can influence the way a child responds to the world around them (Rothbart & Bates, 2006). Babies who are naturally more demanding and difficult to calm down are more susceptible to negative experiences with their parents, which can interfere with their emotional development.
Studies have shown that early childhood trauma can contribute to attachment disruption (Schore, 2001). These disruptions can have a profound impact on a child's brain development, especially in the areas responsible for emotional regulation. According to neurobiologist Allan Schore, this often leads to an increased stress response and impaired ability to cope with emotions, which increases the likelihood of later narcissistic personality traits (Schore, 2001).
Moreover, the impact of early trauma can disrupt brain development and set the stage for poor attachment.
Early Traumas and Their Influence on Narcissism
Early childhood trauma - whether during pregnancy, birth trauma, or after birth - can have lasting effects on a child's neurobiological development. These traumas can affect a child's attachment capacity and contribute to an increased risk of developing narcissism. In his work, Bruce Perry (2002) emphasizes the importance of early brain development and how trauma during this critical period can lead to long-term changes in a child's behavior and personality. Early trauma can undermine a child's ability to form healthy relationships, which is a key feature of narcissism.
Conclusion
The development of narcissism is a complex process involving both biological factors such as temperament, and environmental factors such as parental attachment and parenting. Infants who are demanding and have difficulty with self-regulation are at increased risk of developing narcissistic traits, especially if they grow up in an environment where parents are emotionally detached or overestimate them. Moreover, the impact of early trauma can disrupt brain development and set the stage for inadequate attachment, which can be the basis for narcissistic behavior.
Narcissism does not just happen; it is shaped by several factors. When the right mix of these factors is present, the likelihood of developing narcissism may increase, although this is not a certainty. Each factor in isolation will rarely lead to narcissism.
By paying attention to secure attachment, emotional availability and realistic expectations, we can contribute to the healthy emotional development of children and the prevention of narcissistic personality disorders.
Love,
Leaf
PS: Want to read more about early trauma and the development of narcissism?
Then read this blog. (Dutch)
References
Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Prentice-Hall.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., & Sedikides, C. (2015). Narcissism: An integrative synthesis and dominance complementarity model. Psychological Review, 122(3), 325-348. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000027
Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented during the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti, & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 121-160). University of Chicago Press.
Perry, B. D. (2002). Maltreated children: Experience, brain development, and the next generation. Norton & Company.
Rothbart, M. K., & Bates, J. E. (2006). Temperament. In W. Damon, R. M. Lerner, & N. Eisenberg (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology (pp. 99-166). Wiley.
Schore, A. N. (2001). The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 201-269. https://doi.org/10.1002/1097-0355(200101/04)22:1/2
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